From CCP Lies to the Fight for Freedom: How I Became an Undercover ‘Loser’ for America

Story of a Chinese National's Survival in an American University

I am a Chinese living in Europe, and I just want to share my story in the early hours. For personal privacy reasons, I am doing so anonymously.

Perhaps it sounds like a kitsch compliment, but it's also a fact: traditionally, those Chinese who pro-liberalism (classical liberalism) have had a deep love for the United States, seeing her as the spiritual homeland. Out of a sense of hypocritical national dignity, they rarely say this outright—often choosing to veil it behind symbols like the flag of the Republic of China. But deep down, that feeling is real. And as for me, I suppose I'm one of those unfortunate souls, the difference is that one thing I’m brave enough to admit to myself is—I am an American patriot who was born in China.

For those of us who live under the weight of traditional Chinese culture and its political system but still yearn for freedom, America holds a powerful appeal. It might be hard to imagine, but for a liberal born into a society that judges people by origin and rank, encountering the idea that “all men are created equal” for the first time is nothing short of a revelation. In that moment, the spark of rebellion is quietly but deeply planted in the heart.

I grew up surrounded by lies. The Communist government constantly tried to convince me of the evil of America, using academic jargon similar to what you’d easily find in Western "woke" universities to frame every moment in American history as “racist” or “paving the way for capitalist development.” Yet, despite all the back-and-forth, their core message remained the same: a one-party socialist government with no elections or freedom of speech is the "true" democracy.

I found their education system nauseating. That’s why I was never considered a "good student" while in China—my so-called political sensitivity was always lacking. In the end, it cost me my academic future. One of the unspoken prerequisites for pursuing higher education at a public university in China is passing a political screening. Most private institutions that are more lenient in this regard tend to have a poor reputation; they're often seen as places where you simply pay for a diploma.

After graduation, I was labeled as someone with “political problems,” which meant I couldn’t become a teacher or a civil servant. Like many ordinary people, I took on humble but honest work. Maybe by some stroke of luck, I eventually became a mid-level manager at a small company, and for a while, life seemed to settle into something stable. I tried to stop thinking about politics—I was afraid that doing so might cost me everything I had. But some things, I suppose, are written into your fate.

Spending a lifetime as a middle manager at a private company in China isn’t a bad life—especially in a small firm. During that time, my Steam library was packed with AAA games, and of course, I had a VPN to get through the Great Firewall. But still, moving into senior management would have been a major personal milestone. When I found out that my direct supervisor was set to retire in just a few years, I felt I had a real shot at moving up. In fact, I was the only candidate for the role—just like an election in China. The only thing standing in the way was an advanced degree—any degree, really, from any university.

Because of my political history, I couldn’t go the usual route and “buy” a degree through one of China’s adult education programs. So my only option was to “buy” a degree abroad instead—just like many Chinese students you might’ve seen — studying a business program that is almost entirely staffed by international students, using the opportunity to relax a bit and see it into a fun little trip overseas.

Unfortunately, I was one of those Chinese international students who talks too much—and someone who genuinely believes that all people are created equal. So I never felt the need to agree with everything just because the other person was a local, middle-class student. That was especially true when I saw the all-too-familiar sight on campus: overweight, blue-haired, a Jabba the Hutt self-proclaimed "comrades" waving Soviet flags. Something about that flag triggers a kind of Jedi knight instinct in me—as if it’s my duty to bring them to justice with my lightsaber.

They were full of themselves, convinced that pursuing a degree in the social sciences was somehow a grand, noble endeavor. Anyone who disagreed with their views was quickly labeled a “loser” or “uneducated,” even as they claimed to be fighting for the underprivileged. Unfortunately, when I—someone who actually came from a communist country—tried to share how people like me view their ideology, I suddenly found myself counted among the “losers” and the “uneducated.” So, after some painful reflection, I decided to do what they did: I enrolled in a social science program, hoping to raise my own level of education (definitely not in postmodern gender studies).

Fortunately, overseas, I no longer needed a VPN. Unfortunately, I saw many young people who had lived their whole lives in China, who loved freedom but may never have touched the land of the free world, still relying on VPNs for the humble taste of freedom of speech. But under such unequal power of speech, they were mocked by tankies, by privileged Chinese students who cosplay the same elegance as modern liberals, by Chinese economic immigrants who infiltrate the free world but love the CCP— those asshole who had no empathy and stood outside the wall, ridiculing those longing for freedom, calling them rats and losers. These tankies, eating cookies and drinking high-end coffee, told young people in China who longed for liberty that they should love their country, or else they were pro-colonial mindset losers.

When the streets of Hong Kong were filled with stars and stripes, when a Chinese girl in a concert in Beijing threw out copies of the Declaration of Independence to the people and calling for revolution, when a Chinese teenager raised a Stars and Stripes flag at the very summit of Mount Tai, when The Star-Spangled Banner is sung by the oppressed during protests in totalitarian countries, those blue-haired Hutts, claiming to fight for the oppressed while rocking their damn electric wheelchairs, said: “America is a racist country.” And those idle postcolonial theorists in universities said: “Democracy and freedom are colonialism.

So I had no choice but to give up everything in my past life and fight against these people—becoming, quite literally, an alt-right loser. But I will always be proud of how I became a loser. Because the world today has become so pathetic that it takes “alt-right losers” to defend democracy and freedom, and to fight for the underprivileged.

I’m constantly baffled when I hear overweight, blue-haired Marxists talk about starting a “revolution” in a constitutional republic like the United States. I’ve never understood why they insist on calling their counter-revolution a revolution.

And if that day ever comes, maybe I’ll have no choice but to fly from Europe to join the American Civil War as an international volunteer—to stand with the American patriots and help crush those counter-revolutionaries, and strike a real blow with second amendment to the United States Constitution against one privileged old white male whose name is Karl Marx.

Because I am an alt-right loser who gets teary-eyed at the sight of the Stars and Stripes, who loves freedom and democracy, who respects the Founding Fathers of the United States, and fights for the oppressed and underprivileged, I have no choice but to be this way.

Background: I run a group on FB of hand selected members who are serious and thoughtful about saving our Republic. It’s a no “BS” group called GASP - Global Anti-Socialism Project. In 2020 when Trump lost, my foreign members left the group because they were afraid. One of the members was from Venezuela and he had written a devasting account of the the horrors of the communist government that has taken over there and it was a warning to American.

The post you’ve just read above was received a couple of days ago. I’m hoping the foreign members will come back.

I encourage you to share this article. There’s a tendency for people to generalize and categorize using black and white think. The danger of it is that we don’t get the full spectrum of reality and we make decisions about people and issues based on limited knowledge. Not all Chinese are spies.